Thursday, October 10, 2013

Engaged, Humble Hearts = Worshiping Hearts


As a worship leader, my heart longs to encourage the Church to pursue true worship. And most of all, I am keenly aware that if I am going to stand in front you all and sing songs about the Living God – the God who struck Uzzah for touching the ark of the covenant and the creator God who gives and takes away, my heart better well be in the right place too. We all know that Satan offers many counterfeits in this world. Worship is no different.

In an American Idol age – we have often made our corporate worship gatherings about either performing on stage or critiquing from the audience. We have made ourselves God. We have made our opinions God. We have worshiped worship. We have missed the mark.

God tells us what worship is not:

Isaiah 29:13 Then the Lord said, "Because this people draw near with their words And honor Me with their lip service, But they remove their hearts far from Me, And their reverence for Me consists of tradition learned by rote. (NASB)

So what does God expect? “John 4:24 God is spirit and His worshippers must worship him in spirit and in truth.”

Singing songs with a disengaged heart is.not.worship. It is simply singing. We must engage our spirits to be worshipers. We must worship with truth – my own interpretation of that? A true view of God, a true view of self and truly meaning it – authenticity not lip service.

Really this idea seems simple enough on paper but anyone who has sat in the pews knows how Satan tries to woo our hearts away from God…towards…well….anything. A lost toddler shoe on the way out the door. A fight with your spouse the night before. Feeling self-conscious like everyone is watching or flippantly sipping coffee while the pastor prays.

So what does God require of us in worship?

Hebrews 12:28,29:Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe for our God is a consuming fire.

 If my research is correct…and it might not be because I’m a better musician than theologian, in the Old Testament reverence occurs as the translation of two words “Yare” which means “to fear” and “shachah” which means “falling down”. In the New Testament there are three words translated to reverence “Deos” which means “awe and godly fear”, “phobeo” which is “fear or alarm” and “entrepo” which is an awareness of position  - in this case, our inferiority and God’s supremacy.

As I sit in churches I know that our corporate worship rarely reflects this. Reverence has been replaced with "accessible" and "casual" and while I understand that the curtain was torn and God is now accessible, I believe that unless we first revere Him we cannot grasp the grace of an accessible God. Comments I hear tell me that as worshippers we are inwardly puffed up and concerned about self. Not bowed down. We are greatly lacking in entrepo.

Since we are leading a worship service from the book of Revelation this Sunday let me tie that in - there is no better example in the Scriptures of fear, and awe and falling down before God than in Revelation. The picture of true worship – that which we are seeking to attain on earth and never fully will.  That which will only be fully realized in eternity.

Worship isn’t singing. It isn’t a ritual. It isn’t a physical posture. It is and inward posture. More of You and less of me, God. Bowing down to prove our position and Yours, Lord. Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.










Wednesday, January 30, 2013

The Valley Of Achor


A while back I said I was inspired to write a song based on Hosea 2. It got back-burnered for a time, but here is the lyrical framework. Now for a melody and accompaniment that is inspired in the spiritual sense  -  theopneustos "God breathed". 



Verse 1
I have wandered, I have squandered      
Abandoned vows countless times
Bowed to idols in disguise  
Feigning harmless and benign

Verse 2
And you have repossessed my vineyards
You’ve exposed my harlotry
You’ve confounded all my plans
And blocked my path with thorny weeds

Chorus
And you allure me to the valley
And to the wilderness you call
And though this valley’s name is trouble
In the valley there’s a door

Verse 3 
The door is playing hide and seek
Through the darkness and the fog
Achor is not known to be
A very pleasant place to lodge

Chorus
And you allure me to the valley
And to the wilderness you call
And though this valley’s name is trouble
In the valley there’s a door

Bridge
And the door is named Hope
'Cause Your Kingdom’s upside down
For you led me to the darkest place
To turn my heart around

 Chorus
And you allure me to the valley
And to the wilderness you call
And though this valley’s name is trouble
In the valley there’s a door

Ending
Oh can you feel the father’s love
To allure in spite of fraud?
How poetic how profound
In the valley, to find God








Sunday, November 18, 2012

When fear freezes and worry writhes...


I looked in the mirror at church this morning and I’ve already forgotten my face. I am such a slow learner. Though I am not thrilled with my short term memory…I suppose catching the problem early is better than not catching it at all!

Today I sang “we have found our hope, we have found our peace, we have found our rest in the one who saves” and invited everyone in attendance to sing the same wholeheartedly. By afternoon the warm fuzzy moment ended and real life began…my Monday-Saturday life. And things happened, like they do, and I took my eyes off the guy that I had just claimed was so faithful.

I sat in the car in the grocery store parking lot after church, while Aaron ran inside. As I sat I started to go over my week. Tomorrow I have a dental appointment to fix a tooth that had a root canal last week. Now the crown fell off and they say they are going to re-crown the remaining part of the tooth…but the remaining part of the tooth looks bad…real bad….and I fear I might actually need the tooth pulled once they see it. So I took a little time to beat myself up over the fact that I have bad teeth…and crooked teeth…and clearly that must mean that I am a bad person. Then my mind wandered to worry. Worry over how we will afford the procedure. I took that bait so the enemy told me we probably can’t afford it and I can just go without a tooth. Which honestly would and should be okay but my pride interrupted and puffed up and I went in circles with myself over how I will look and how I will feel and how I will feel about how I will look……and….and…and. 

Aaron came back to the car. I buckled up, relieved to be heading home. The car wouldn’t start. More ammunition. So then I started to worry about the car, and how we would fix that. Aaron suggested we walk home – it’s a short walk and a beautiful day.  As we walked I had plenty of time to think more. To worry more. I mean, if we can’t take care of our cars or my teeth, how will we take care of college for the kids……and why did we both pursue music degrees ….We had heard the phrase starving artists…didn’t that tip us off? And then there are those rumors of a global food shortage…should I fix my tooth or buy that emergency food supply bucket from Costco?  For real people! Aren’t you glad you don’t live in my head?!
And so my thoughts went…My eldest bent down and picked some flowers and handed them to me as we walked. Okay, it was actually two dandelions: one yellow and one white, ready to sow new life. But all moms know that dandelions are among the finest of flowers. And the spirit whispered "Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these."



And that was that. God had the last word. I have found my hope, I have found my peace, I have found my rest in the one who saves. 

"Every time fear freezes and worry writhes, every time I surrender to stress, aren't I advertising the unreliability of God? That I really don't believe? But I'm grateful to the Bridge Builder for the crossing of a million strong bridges, thankful for a million faithful moments, my life speaks my beliefs and I trust Him again." - Ann Voskamp


Monday, November 12, 2012

Monday Musings

Do you question your calling? Do you question your life's work? When you believe God has called you to something; created you for something that you then fall short on...what do you do?

Most Sunday afternoons through Tuesdays I question. Inevitably, human-me does something dumb in front of several hundred people on a Sunday morning and I proceed to listen to the lies of the enemy - joining him in taking me down. Or perhaps I hear a few opinions about the music  - some overly critical and self-serving and some completely valid and constructive, all with no intention to hurt, no doubt. As a people pleaser I can rehearse my song choices or my ministry vision over in my head, convincing myself that perhaps there is a way to please all of the people. It takes until Tuesday to remind myself that there is nothing I can do to please everyone, try as I might. It takes until Tuesday to convince myself that it is okay if not everyone likes everything I do. It takes until Tuesday to decide that I will try again and when I fall short as we all do, God will still be accept my offering even if others do not.

So often our lives and work can begin to feel meaningless. The author of Ecclesiastes seems to understand my sentiment. Maybe some young moms out there have the Accuser Of The Brethren tell them that their work is meaningless and mundane too. I would guess some pastors identify with me when life feels heavy on the sowing and light on the reaping. Almost every Monday I must remind myself of Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." 


Here is what I know: My life is not my own. My work is not for my glory. I will most certainly fall short but I will not give up. I will "waste" my life on God and no matter how good I am at what I do, if I put God first, it will be enough for Him. And in the scheme of eternity, that is all that matters. 

My soundtrack for today:
I Will Waste My Life - Misty Edwards

Tonight our family is looking forward to serving dinner at a homeless shelter. When your life is so wrapped up in organized religion, it is nice to get outside of the box and take part in some James 1:27-like "religion" to put things in perspective. I suspect I'll be ready to start again tomorrow and ask that the Holy Spirit would give me true inspiration ("God breathed") for the worshipers at LRC as I plan upcoming services.


Monday, September 3, 2012

'Twas the night before kindergarten...

'Twas the night before Kindergarten and in our household
Nerves have given way to excitement untold
The backpack is hung on his coat hook with care
His uniform's folded, he's got freshly cut hair.

Both boys are nestled all snug in their beds,
While mamma has thoughts dancing round in her head
Memories of first teeth, first words and first steps
I blinked and five precious years have now passed

Inside my soul I fight so much clatter
Have I done my best? Have I done what matters?
My mind is unsure and my emotions are brittle
I'm not ready to let go - to see him so little

But deep in my heart I know it's how it should be
Cause he's strong and he's smart and he says he's ready
God gave him to me for only a while
He needs him in the world, spreading that smile.

It's the night before kindergarten and with tears in my eyes
I give him to God, to teach him to fly
He isn't really mine - that's why I named him Samuel
So Lord take my boy and protect His sweet soul

Guard his heart from all that destroys
And make him a light, serving all girls and boys
Tomorrow please grant me grace for the day
And send him home happy and encouraged, I pray.


Friday, August 3, 2012

LRC: A Decade

We are only weeks away from our church's ten year anniversary. My heart is so wrapped up with this beautiful place because I had the honor of helping plant the church back in 2002. I have invested all of my adult life in this ministry.  I wrote these memories for a print piece the church is putting out: 


How nostalgic it is to look back on a decade of God's faithfulness at Living Rock Church. In some ways, the decade has flown by and yet the reality of time passed is exposed as I begin to forget some early details. I have done my best to recount what I can.  

It all began with the "Norwood Five",  five local families who had been meeting together for worship and praying that a church would arrive and thrive in their area. With the help of the North Central (then Northwestern) District office of the C&MA, plans were put in motion to start an official Alliance church plant. Jon Wall was youth pastoring at Parkside church in Waconia at that time and he was called, both by God and the district to become the founding Pastor of the new plant that came to be named Living Rock Church. I was finishing up my degree at Crown College when Jon came to me and asked me to join him in the church planting endeavor, serving in the area of my passion, Worship and the Arts. I accepted and joined him that first Sunday leading worship at our gatherings as a school "practicum" which is similar to an internship. 

Our first Sunday, August 25, 2002, we met at Central High School in a classroom. We never dreamed 72 people would attend the first service! Our space and resources were surely limited but God had set something into motion that even our personal and environmental shortcomings couldn't stop. The first service was simple but there was a palpable energy in the room - no doubt the Spirit at work. Jon Wall brought the Word with his trademark passion and his wise yet accessible communication style. A small team joined me in leading the congregation in music. We sang "Praise the name of Jesus, He's my rock, He's my fortress…." and it seemed fitting as we embarked on the journey of Living Rock. By our second week we had moved to Central Elementary School and acquired a humble sound system to accommodate the unexpected numbers. Come spring of 2003 I was graduating from college and then became a full time employee. It seems as though I blinked and the church was several hundred strong. It was difficult for a young, inexperienced staff to gain the necessary leadership skills quickly enough to meet the needs of the rapidly growing congregation but God was faithful and His plans were much bigger than any one of us and our limited abilities.  In hindsight, it is clear to me that He divinely equipped us and His Spirit carried us through many situations, both good and bad, that were beyond our ability.

In the early days our offices were in the basement of an old bank on Elm Street. I worked as the part time office assistant and part time Worship Director. Jon spent his time in the Word and shepherding the flock, both strong areas of gifting for him. Our Friday morning prayer meetings were a highlight of the week, meeting together to petition God and then singing and laughing together while folding bulletins for the following Sunday. In 2003, Robb Stiffler also joined our leadership team and took on some of the financial responsibilities and administrative tasks. Then in September 2005 Kathy Sutherland, who had been leading our children's program in a volunteer capacity, came on staff as well. Eventually we began to outgrow our basement office space so we moved upstairs in the same building, giving us a more suitable, professional environment for visitors. A benefit of having downtown offices was our ability to be involved in the community. We had many drop in visitors and became acquainted with a variety of people in our figurative backyard who stopped by in need of prayer or rides or financial help. 

The C&MA is committed to fulfilling The Great Commission as laid out in Matthew 28 and mission work has certainly become a fixed feature in our body. Throughout the first decade we have had the honor of sending several families from our congregation out into the world with the Gospel of Jesus and funding and building relationships with dozens more who are affiliated with our church. We have prayed over countless young people as they left on short term missions trips setting out into the unknown with a passion for Christ and world evangelism. I hesitate to list names, as I know I cannot list them all but for the sake of records, some of our nearest full time missionary affiliations were:  Bill & Ann Mangham, Christy Stumbo, Harry & Jane Landaw, Dwight & Lori Carlblom, Catherine Rivard, AT&T, RR and S&K (names withheld to protect their identity as they serve in dangerous locations) and so many more!

Another highlight of the early years was our community outreach, Party In The Park. We held this event annually for several years offering free food and games and fun so we could get outside of our four walls and become acquainted with our neighbors, demonstrating Christ's love for them. In it's day that event was beloved by many and holds warm memories still today. Our Christmas Productions also evolved to become a community outreach opportunity as well. We developed a skilled drama and musical team that presented the message of Christ in powerful, engaging ways and those Sundays always seemed to be overflowing with visitors as people came from all around to worship with us. We still continue today, our experiential Good Friday service that has become an LRC tradition. 

In the fall of 2006, Brian Malvig joined our team filling the roles of Associate and Youth Pastor. The staff team was ever changing, we had farewelled one staff member but quickly added three more. Lisa Wolfe came on staff as our office administrator in the fall of 2007. Susana Perez and Nicole Bursey joined the team as Children's Ministry Assistants in 2008. Meanwhile the search for a property to call our own intensified and it wasn't long before we had purchased land at our current farm property on the West end of town. We had a capital campaign themed "Take The Next Step" to raise funds and pledges to cover the purchase. However, on the heels of our capital campaign came an economic downturn in 2008 that definitively slowed our ability to pay down debt. We continue, today, to trust God for the removal of our land debt so we can look to the next phase, fundraising for a building!

I recall hosting a worship team picnic at our brand new farm property in 2008.  After everyone left that evening, my family remained to clean up. The most  vivid double rainbow I have ever witnessed cut the sky. It's prominence took my breath away. I followed the arc until it came to rest only several yards South of the farm house. The moment seemed significant, perhaps it was a message from God - a promise of His faithfulness, so we stayed a while, savoring the moment. 

The next several years we took to making our property "home". Many renovations took place to bring the farm house up to code for office use and we began to settle into a new routine at our new location.

On January 2, 2011, our founding Pastor, Jon Wall, announced his resignation in the first Sunday service of the new year and we grieved the loss deeply but understood that God was up to something new for the Wall family and for Living Rock!  I recall reading Isaiah 43:19 over the congregation that day which reads, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland".  Amidst the difficult changes to the landscape of our church, God was whispering "hope" because our God is in the business of hope. The church appointed a search committee to begin looking for a new pastor, one that we believed would be appointed and called by God, Himself. During the months of our pastoral search, we said goodbye to several beloved staff members and welcomed new ones to carry on the mantle of leadership. In 2011 Kyle Ague and Kellie Beneke joined the staff. During that time, our elder board also worked heroically to support the church staff in the absence of Pastoral leadership and to lead and serve the body as a whole. It has been very clear throughout the ten years at Living Rock that God has blessed us beyond measure with godly men of great character and wisdom to give leadership to our congregation. 

In July of 2011, the search committee and the elders invited Pastor Roger Eng and his family from Fremont, Nebraska to candidate. He was put through a rigorous interview process and it was clear that the church was committed to finding the right man for the job - God's man. Roger's strong leadership skills were evident and his casual persona was clearly a good fit for our congregation. Following an exhaustive interview weekend the church leadership extended a call to Roger to become our new shepherd. The Eng family accepted and Pastor Roger joined us in an official capacity on September 11, 2011. It hasn't even been a year since the Eng family came to LRC but I can already feel a positive momentum in the air, many exciting things are happening and I am confident that Roger's heart for discipleship will overflow into the DNA of our church. I look forward to seeing what God has in mind for Living Rock Church in it's second decade! 

Looking back, it is the sacred events that mean the most to me. I will never forget the home goings of loved ones from LRC, some who walked many years with Christ and others who were taken young and tragically. I well with thanks as I remember the hours of selfless and tireless volunteer work that I have witnessed as people step up to the challenges of being a portable church, all for the glory of God. I can remember specific times where the Spirit was so tangible in our worship services that the experience may well be forever engraved in my mind. I have watched lives be changed because Almighty God showed up at a small church in rural Minnesota and used her people. I have seen broken relationships miraculously reconciled and lives forever changed by the power of the Spirit. I am simply awed by how masterfully this decade has been adorned with the fingerprints of God. In ten years I have learned that no family is perfect, that pain does come and conflict is inevitable but God's beauty is evident in a body that stays together through it all; iron sharpening iron, pursuing the common goal of being like Christ for the acclaim of Christ. 

Thank you Lord for never leaving us or forsaking us. You have allowed us to be a part of Your story and I well with joy at how you have loved. We invite you to lead us for the next decade and beyond, even to the end of the age. 

Praising God for building His church in NYA and around the world, 

Nikki Petersen




Sunday, July 8, 2012

Traveling Solo

Today I drove the empty corn-lined highways of Southwest Minnesota alone. I only travel those roads alone when things are heavy. Usually I drive these roads with husband and kids and beagle and energy unbounded. The last time I packed up quick and traveled alone was 6 years ago when my daddy called and said cancer - I drove fast and I sat sacred with my mamma while my dad was in surgery and recovery. In the end, my father beat the cancer with the help of my Father but I'm pretty sure that my Grand Father has a different kind of healing in mind for my grandfather. Today I drove again to sit with my mamma while she waits for Jesus to come pick up her daddy. God came unexpectedly to pick up my dad's parents so this waiting for God is a new thing for my family. It is new but it is beautiful. Papa hasn't left this life yet but he's already seeing glimpses of the next and I think sitting with him while he waits for his pick-up is a high privilege. He saw Jesus in His room today. He called him "Holy, Holy, Holy the Lord God Almighty" and apparently Jesus was camping out right above the TV in the corner of the room or at least that's where Papa saw Him. Now, that's all kinds of special and as I sit here alone in the silence the old song fills my mind:

We are standing on holy ground
And I know that there are angels all around 
Let us praise Jesus now
We are standing in His presence on Holy ground

Mom and Grandma went home to get their rest and I am going to keep vigil tonight. I am 31 year old mother of two littles... I don't need sleep! They will rest up for the journey and adjustments that await them in the weeks to come. I will savor the last moments on earth with my brave papa.